Checkout Line Oracle

At the grocery store, the scanner starts beeping in full sentences. "Do not buy that melon. Call your sister. Trust the dentist." Shoppers pretend not to hear, scanning quietly. One man ignores the warning about shrimp and spends the night regretting it. A teenager listens, swaps candy for carrots, and finds a lost wallet in the parking lot. When the manager resets the machine, it sighs and whispers, "Someone should really check the back door at midnight."

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